After about 6 months of being divorced, we came to our senses and started dating again. Thank God for the courage to make that phone call at 1 in the morning with the infallible " I had a bad dream and just wanted to make sure you were ok" excuse. It got us talking till 4 in the morning and well, the rest is history. In the next few days long overdue apologies were made, milestones of growth were hit, and over the next few years, we bought a home together, found a new church home, had another baby, opened a business, etc.
Fast forward to 2010, I had quit my job and was running the Refresqueria. No job equaled no insurance and I went to the dr. who told me I had another growth in my tummy and it needed to be removed immediately. The only way for me to have the surgery without being in debt for the next 50 years was to get on an insurance plan immediately, and have the surgery. It was a Thursday afternoon, and the surgery was scheduled for the following Tuesday. I talked to Danny about it , and wouldn't you know it, the next morning he and I walked into the courthouse and walked out 30 minutes later, married.
The surgery was done, and here we are today three years later...Happy "2nd" Wedding anniversary! The funny part is when people ask how long I have been married I say 13 years (counting the time from our first marriage to now), but in reality I am not sure what the answer to this question is. Is it 13 years for the total, is it 3 years (from the second marriage in 2010 only), or is it 6 years of marriage total (3 from the first and 3 from the second)? LOL I asked Danny what he says when people ask him how long he is married.....his answer was "What people, no one asks me that, and if they did I would tell them its none of their damn business!" LOL...Ever the romantic!!
Thinking of my marriage is mainly a good thing, but its not always peaches and cream at the Limon home. We all have our moments and I most certainly have mine. I try to focus on the good things and the blessings, but every now and again, I get overwhelmed by the I wants, and what ifs, and why can't I's....
Last night was one of these moments, I got home to nothing (I had asked him to start the pork loin cooking for dinner- and he didn't), he didn't buy me anniversary flowers (which is unrealistic for Danny - but he did it last year, so he set the expectation, and then failed it), and then I went to karate and Mr. Henderson's wife showed up all cute and prego, and I swear this grown man smiled from ear to ear just looking at her, he looked like a kid on Christmas day, he was so happy to see her...and that smile stayed plastered on his face the entire 6 minutes he had left in his class, and he kept glancing over at her. It was so stinkin cute!!! The moment his class ended, he walked off the mat and said "Hi my love," as he walked over to her to greet her. It was the cutest thing ever. (all the adult women there were tickled - especially since this man is so serious in class). The simple fact that he wore his love and admiration for her on his face and greeted her so tenderly, without a care in the world of who heard him or where he was or if it was appropriate, etc.
I know better than to compare myself to others, or to want what others have, because we all know too well that the grass is not always greener on the other side, and that you never know what people are going through behind closed doors, and because I am blessed in so many ways that I need to be grateful for those things....I know all of this, but I am human and I am a woman, and that human woman sometimes wants to feel wanted and appreciated and loved.
After class, and showering, I went to bed and told Danny about Mr. Henderson and immediately got in my funk and told him that I thought I would have a beautiful love story to tell my grandkids and I don't. His response (again - ever the romantic) was " who does." LOL - I have to laugh to keep from screaming in frustration!!!!
I told him that I have never been proposed to, that would be a good start...to which he proceed to ignore me and fall asleep. Normally that would be a pisser offer...but I guess I am used to this response and was pretty tired myself, so I fell asleep too.
This morning I woke up still heavy with that wanting feeling. You ladies know what I am talking about...I want to feel loved, I want to feel appreciated, I want him to want to show me affection, I want him to tell me I look pretty, I want to be loved more....well on my way to work I was listening to KSBJ (I need to get my Jesus in early - and today is a perfect example of why). A song came on and made me cry. I cried all the way into work, not because I was sad for all the things I wanted and didn't have but because I felt so guilty for not appreciateing the blessings I do have.
I'm sure you thought this was going to end as an I hate Danny kinda rant, but it isn't. I do love that unromantic unaffectionate lug of a man. I may not have a romantic proposal story, or compliments from him, or someone eager to make-out every day (I know this because I ask him to make-out with me daily ; although I always get a smirk and a shrug with no make-out - I am not a quitter, and I keep on asking cause one of these days he will surprise me and we will make-out like lovesick teenagers - I just know it LOL).
What I do have is a hardworking man in my life that loves our kids more than I ever imagined possible. I have a man who takes our kids to school every day his work schedule allows, takes them to karate on his off days, cooks dinners to help out when possible, always takes care of our yard work, and sometimes does our laundry. I have a man who ALWAYS takes care of me when I am sick, who lets me buy just about anything I want, when I want it, who changes our air filters, and the oil filters in our cars, who dresses in whatever I say to take our annual family Christmas pictures without complaint. Who is honest with me when I ask him how something looks (this is not always a good trait, but I appreciate it most of the time), who takes me on trips often, who drives me to Dayton monthly to pick up scrapbooking junk as he likes to call it.....I have a good man. A grumpy, unromantic, unaffectionate man, that I am proud to call mine.
I don't know anyone who has a great love story - and I'll admit ours started off rocky, and then stopped, started again, and sometimes I want to stop it again - but ours isn't all that bad. I think the stories I share with my grandkids may not be all flowers and candles, but it will be laughs, tears, heartache and fight. It will be real and true and pretty damn awesome.
HAPPY 13,6 or 3 YEAR ANNIVERSARY DANNY - I LOVE YOU!!
Here is a picture of us in our first year of marriage:
A little different! LOL
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